Arriving in New Jersey alone from Saudi Arabia, Waleed looked around and noticed that the people were quite different from back home.
In “Saudia,” as he called it, one saw only Saudi Arabs. In America, however, he saw people of different races and ethnicities.
Coming from a country where there was “no freedom,” where restrictions were all Waleed knew, where his exemplary mother was the only open-minded member of a conservative family, America offered something different. America offered a life in which individuality was allowed and restrictions were not enforced. He had the ability to work, and do what he wanted in a country that did not frown upon free speech and allowed him a chance to choose whether he wanted to be liberal or conservative.
Within a few weeks of arriving his parents followed him. Being in a new country, Waleed’s parents had a hard time finding jobs. Consequently, Waleed worked to help out. At the age of 17, he attended college and worked long, strenuous hours earning money for his entire family to survive. Day after day it became routine, yet he was never discouraged.
Starting his freshman year of college in America was a great experience for Waleed. He explained: “New York City is a liberal city, and I’m a liberal person. My mom was the one who made me liberal—mostly she has had the biggest influence on me.” Waleed loved his freedom—being able to speak his mind and converse freely with his professors. He stated that “I had more fun with my professors in college than I ever did.”
Although he went to an American school in Saudia, “most of the professors were from the Southern part of America—Texas and Arizona.” So for the most part even the professors had a conservative outlook. For Waleed having freedom is one of the most cherished aspects of America. Each person in this country is allowed individuality, a quality instilled in him by his mother, who had lived most of her life in a conservative country.
Within a year of coming to America, Waleed’s mother fell very sick. Many hospital visits and lots of medicine followed. As her health declined, the bills increased. Waleed not only had to worry about the water bills, electricity, heating, food and cell phones, but now the medicine and hospital bills as well.
A year after settling in America, Waleed’s father took his mother to Pakistan for a kidney transplant. Meanwhile in New York, Waleed and his younger brother worked and paid for their own education, housing and food. Many a time they lived without electricity and heating through the winter months. At times they could not pay the cell phone bills, and their phones were disconnected. Sometimes they had no hot water to shower with. At times, they did not have enough money to buy a decent meal for days.
In spite of such difficulties, Waleed kept in constant contact with his parents. He told them of all the wonderful things he experienced in America. He described his long conversations with his professors and meeting new people, but he never complained or let his parents know the conditions in which he was living. His parents had enough stress in their lives dealing with his mother’s illness.
Waleed kept on going, struggling but never giving up. In the back of his mind he awaited his mother’s return. One day she would be healthy again. He could not wait to show his mom the life that he had built.
Unexpectedly, in the middle of the night on August 5, 2003, he received a phone call. The voice on the other end was void of emotion. In a somber tone his father gave him the message that his mother had passed away.
Waleed was in disbelief. The struggle that he went through every day was for his mom, to have her be proud of him. Now he would never see again.
The day Waleed learned of his mothers’ death, he did not stop his life. He went to school and work just like any other day. He did not sit around and moan the loss; he knew that would not accomplish anything. She would not have wanted that.
When asked if he would want to give up this struggle and move back to Saudia—back to a life where he would no longer have to work, his answer is “never.” In Saudia “you cannot be what you want to be,” he said.
America is consistent with his mother’s teachings. It allows individuality, freedom. She raised him to think with an open mind, liberally. Even though she is no longer here, this country permits him to live out the ideals his mom instilled in him and raised him with. To Waleed, America is home. America is where his heart is.
Ashraf Bhalwani is a Rutgers-Newark student. Posted January 2006.
